Day Eighteen ... A Moment of Appreciation

It is a gorgeous day in Las Vegas and I wanted to take the time to appreciate my health and my body. Fresh carrot and cucumber juice seemed like just the right way to do it. Carrot juice under a bright blue sky with palm trees blowing in the wind. It sounds a lot like a vacation, doesn't it? What a great way to begin the day.

In health and gratitude,

Nicola Byrne

The best six doctors anywhere
And no one can deny it
Are sunshine, water, rest, and air
Exercise and diet.
These six will gladly you attend
If only you are willing
Your mind they'll ease
Your will they'll mend
And charge you not a shilling.
-Nursery rhyme quoted by Wayne Fields, What the River Knows, 1990

Day Seventeen ... The Four Agreements

Today I want to reread The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz and it seems like a good idea to post them here as I do that. In fact it is probably an even better idea to print them and hang them on the bathroom mirror to read them everyday ... 


One of the opportunities I had this week was to work through a conflict without taking it personally. I won't say it was easy, and I won't say I was 100% successful either. That would be stretching the truth. As I was driving back from work today I remembered one of the Four Agreements is to not take anything personally. That's a significant goal, and one I imagine would lead to a lot more peace of mind when practiced regularly. In fact, each agreement, especially the third agreement, would result in tremendous amounts of peace of mind and decreases in drama or conflicts when practiced regularly.

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz 

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak
against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don't Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don't Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

My last week at work in NY before I moved to Las Vegas a very close friend gave me a copy of the Four Agreements in a card. I'll always remember where I first read them. Thank you Betty. 

Gratefully,
Nicola Byrne


Give thanks for what you are now, and keep fighting for what you want to be tomorrow.
-Fernanda Miramontes-Landeros

Day Sixteen ... Happy Now

I saw this quote by Dennis Waitley yesterday and it really got through to me.

That's just it - you can't drive it, you can't wear it, you can't live in it, you can't drink it, smoke it, snort it, you can't travel to it. Happiness is the experience of the journey. The experience of happiness is the result of how you look at things. When I look at something I say, can do, no problem; that's not going to make me unhappy. Happiness is a choice!

It reminded me I used to believe happiness was a point I would reach, sort of like the finish line of a 5K run. There would be a lot of hard work, sweat and a fair amount of pain to earn it (no pain, no gain...) and reach happiness. Or that it was the inevitable result of getting something I wanted and had to save long and hard for. Or it was doing something in particular, like going on vacation. The phrase "I'll be happy when ..." started many wistful thoughts.

I see now that I was postponing being happy. It was an affirmation that would continually keep happiness just in the future, always in the future. Because when I got to that finish line my sights were already on the next thing, trip, achievement, and once again I was thinking "I'll be happy when ..." having already forgotten I was supposed to be happy now.

That was a time when I did not realize it is my choice. Happiness is inside of me and I carry it with me wherever I go, in my very own hands.

Happily,

Nicola Byrne

Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys.  If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it.

--Fyodor Dostoevsky

Day Fifteen ...

Today I'm looking at how I treat my physical body (healthy food, exercise) and how I treat my mental body (healthy thoughts, mental exercise). It isn't something I have really ever considered. How can you feed your mind? Grow it? Change it?

I'm learning that there are many ways, in fact, to do just that. But here are a few ...

With meditation I can retrain my brain, relax both my mental body and my physical body, and actually completely physically change my gray matter. A quote from this blogger at the NY Times fascinates me:

M.R.I. brain scans taken before and after the participants’ meditation regimen found increased gray matter in the hippocampus, an area important for learning and memory. The images also showed a reduction of gray matter in the amygdala, a region connected to anxiety and stress. A control group that did not practice meditation showed no such changes.

Learning something new is another way to exercise my mind. This comes naturally to me, I'm an overly curious person and I simply want to know how to do everything. Not necessary perfectly and to be an authority in every little thing in the Universe rather to have experience and familiarity with a huge variety of topics. There isn't much I won't try, even if it gives me a brain cramp like taking line-dancing lessons seem to do.

Positive affirmations are another useful tool. I have several CDs I listen to and a treasure trove of books and I write my own. I usually have an index card with affirmations written on them and they are never far from my person. When I get in my car (and I'm alone) and it is warming up I read them out loud. Sometimes when I am stopped at a long light. The index card I had in my car seems to be missing now and I had this visual of someone picking it up and looking at it and thinking "What the heck is this?" It made me smile. I'll have to write another for the car...

It has taken me a few years to become comfortable with affirmations and I am still improving in that area. One thing that helped was hearing Louise Hay's Affirmations CD where she explains that everyone uses affirmations, because every single thought we have is an affirmation. The thing is, most of us aren't aware of our thoughts enough to note whether those affirmations are positive (I'm grateful for the good things I've seen and done today...) or negative (I'm having a BAD day!).

I'm learning to tune in and change the station now. How many times have you thought you wouldn't be good at something, couldn't change something, couldn't do something. It is an affirmation, and I've been guilty of repeating the same negative ones over and over in the past. It is good to say "in the past" and know that I'm paying attention now and making changes.

Choosing better thoughts,
Nicola Byrne


Breathing in, I calm my body.
Breathing out, I smile.
Dwelling in the present moment,
I know this is a wonderful moment!
Breathing in, I know I’m breathing in.
Breathing out, I know
as the in-breath grows deep,
the out-breath grows slow.
Breathing in makes me calm.
Breathing out brings me ease.
With the in-breath, I smile.
With the out breath, I release.
Breathing in, there is only the present moment.
Breathing out, it is a wonderful moment.

--Thich Nhat Hanh

Day Fourteen .... Good Day or Bad Day?

My mind was all over the place on what to write today. Then it hit me. Why is it, when one single thing happens in the midst of an otherwise good, or even GREAT day in my case, suddenly it becomes a BAD day?

There are twenty-four hours in a day. I had a ten minute problem (insert "opportunity" there please...) and I let my mood go from sunshine to a storm cloud. Actually let infers passiveness, sort of like being a the passenger in a car, when in reality my moods are 100% my choice. I'm driving the mood bus and I have control over the destination and scenery.

Suddenly I'm having a "bad day". Have you ever stopped to weigh or number the good things and the bad things over the course of a "bad day" and see what tips the scale?

I did and today several very important and meaningful people to me spoke to me and said the kindest, most generous things. People I respect and look up to, friends and coworkers. My client sessions went great. The sun is shining. The sky is clear. It is warm out. I got ALL my errands done and had time to relax and do a couple of things for myself.  That is a lot of nice things.

Then there was one incident that I judged as bad and suddenly I was having a BAD day. A single ten minute snippet of time and it derailed me, however only temporarily.

The bonus is I learned from it. I had a bad moment, maybe a bad hour in an otherwise great day.

Turning it all around like a Rubik's cube  in my mind I can look for the opportunity, look for another perspective and make the shift I back to being thankful for all that I have in my life.

Thank you for reading,
Nicola Byrne

Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same.
--Francesca Reigler

Day Thirteen ... My Four Legged Friends

I have three four-legged furry cheerleaders. They are always happy to see me, always ready to grin, to play, to show me love and affection. Able to sense my moods they even know when to give comfort. They make me laugh. They make me happy. Whether I am feeling down or not, they have the power to make me smile and laugh. Everyday, without fail.

My cheerleaders are Mugsy, he is a Pit Bull; Sixto, he is a Papillon; and Trinity, she is a part feral short-hair cat. They have touched my life for the better. I cannot imagine a day without them.

Their personalities are all very distinct, they actually have their own quirks that are completely unique and adorable.

Mugsy talks. He loves to have his blanket fluffed. He won't lay down until it is and he isn't afraid to let you know when he wants it adjusted. He even has a favorite blanket. Mugsy's favorite toy is a laser beam, which he loves to run around like a puppy chasing. He does not like to "do his business" in the backyard, he wants to walk in the neighborhood and sniff everything. I call that his version of catching up on the news. He loves to sleep on his back with his paws in the air and his head twisted, it looks so uncomfortable to me but he certainly seems comfortable and in a doggy state of bliss.

Sixto likes to boss everyone around and prefers it if you only pet him. He'll happily go so far as to insert himself under your hand if you forget and try to pet Mugsy or Trinity. His favorite toy is a mini tennis ball and his favorite game is to shove it under the furniture and literally vibrate with anticipation until you fetch it for him. He's a mastermind at getting his human's to fetch for him.

Trinity likes to play and races all around the upstairs howling at whatever imaginary friend she is playing with or chasing after. She has her own cardboard box that she makes an office out of. She loves to lay on top of whatever you are trying to read, any form of papers or book will do. Or clothes you just lay out on the bed to put on. It is just her way of saying hi, here's some of my hair to remind you of me during the day ...

They are my cheerleaders ... and they brighten every single day. I'm very fortunate to have them.

In love with my four-legged friends,

Nicola Byrne

Only when we give joyfully, without hesitation or thought of gain, can we truly know what love means.

--Leo Buscaglia

Day Twelve ... Fully Recharged

Yesterday was a great day to recharge my batteries. I hadn't even realized I needed it, wasn't focused on rest, just on doing doing doing the past few weeks. It was wonderful to take the morning slow, my husband made me breakfast, I had coffee, published my blog then settled down to do some reading. Reading for me has always been a form of relaxation and enjoyment.

I read something educational, Paul Friedman's e-book, and also something fun, a romance called 'The Search' by Nora Roberts. Nora Robert's never fails to write a book that is an easy read, enjoyable, with some good information here and there because she really researches her topics.

It was a surprisingly cold and windy day, those winds have still been howling and I still really love it. A perfect day to put on the fireplace and curl up with a book and a blanket and some green tea.

I took a cue from Sixto and got cozy and relaxed and truly enjoyed my day.

Now I am fully refreshed and recharged and looking forward to going back to work. Grateful for a day of enjoying myself, relaxing with my husband and our four-legged kids. Grateful to feel so energized today.

Feeling contentment and peace,
Nicola Byrne

If you think your life is about DOINGNESS, you do not understand what you are about. Your soul doesn't care what you do for a living-and when your life is over, neither will you. Your soul cares only about what you're BEING while you're doing whatever you're doing. It is a state of BEINGNESS the soul is after, not a state of doingness.
--Neale Donald Walsch