I am not quite midway through Mike Robbins' "Focus on the Good Stuff: The Power of Appreciation" and I had a good amount of time today to pick it back up and make some more headway.
Mike Robbins provides a technique to transform negativity that consists of five simple steps.
- Acknowledge All Your Negative Thoughts and Feelings Honestly: This step requires a sounding board, a person who you can safely speak to without them judging what you say. Also without them offering commentary at all. Their purpose is to listen and allow you to share your fears, feelings, doubts, etc... You can also write write these emotions and thoughts down on a piece of paper or speak aloud (if you happen to be driving for example). The point of this step is to acknowledge your feelings and not suppress or stuff them, where they only grow bigger. Air them out.
- Create a Clean Slate: This is where the person you are sharing with can parrot back what you have said. The point here is that when you hear your fears/worries/negative thoughts repeated they lose their power. When they lose their power, you have a clean slate.
- Change Your Physical or Emotional Slate: The suggestion in this step is to do or say something loudly to create this shift. Jump. Yell. To quote Mike Robbins "If you're able, it's often good to yell, jump, or make a sound or movement that gets your blood pumping and gets you a little fired up." For Mike making a Tarzan yell works. Reading this brought to mind the movie The Karate Kid and Mr. Miyagi and Daniel shouting Bonzai in the movie. If I do this it will certainly attract abundant attention!
- Verbalize and Visualize What You Want: This is always what self-help books suggest you do however not a single one I have ever read has told you how to get rid of the worries that block visualizing something positive. When you are all clogged up with worrying about what can go wrong or is going wrong visualizing an alternative is a stretch. I liked that this step was led up to with simple suggestions.
- Let It All Go: I think this is an obvious one. After going through step 1 through 4 let it go and stop worrying. Trust yourself. Choose to think positively.
Grateful for this book,
Gratitude is one of the most neglected emotions and one of the most underestimated of the virtues.
-Dr. Robert Emmons